So the beginning of this year was superb, I was loaded, I'd received two student loans and was living the best possible life I could with the very small drawback of having nowhere to live so I did the thing every sensible 21 year old man would do, I spent all my time in Starbucks "looking for a flat". Anyway over my many visits I'd see people come and go, business people, shop workers on a break and kids acting like they were grown ups were the most frequent visitors, except there were a couple who'd appear on a daily basis and wouldn't seem to leave.
Surrounded by shopping bags and usually sitting away from each other they were two of the strangest people I'd ever laid my eyes on. There was a woman, later forties to early fifties wearing a baggy pair of shorts, short cut hair and a massive red coat which would often be over her head for some reason and there was a man, her partner I'm assuming. He had a slightly less kooky dress sense, kinda of like a typical old man but always wearing a winter hat and chugging on a large carton of mango Rubicon, he'd cough and splutter and look close to death but seemed okay most of the time. The real thing that made these two so distinguishable was the woman's behaviour, she was fucking mental, to put it bluntly. She'd go into the toilet and be in there for what seemed like hours then come out looking shifty, whisper to the guy and they'd leave with haste. I once went in after her and saw some kind of brown substance in the plug hole of the sink, I don't want to think it was shit but there doesn't seem to be many other possible things it could be.
One particular instance of her insanity sticks out in my head above all others. Let me paint a little picture, I'm sitting down, watching the world go by and playing some Simpsons Tapped Out on my iPad when I see our two heroes(?) walk in. They set up in the usual positions, the guy on the side wall, the woman running around like someone's lit a firework up her arse sitting at all tables in the shop. There's a guy sitting over by the window typing away on his laptop and minding his own business when all of a sudden the lady runs over to him and throws a ten pound note down in front of him, he looks confused and picks it up to see if it's real, which it is. She continues with her mission of sitting everywhere, collecting cups and acting weird eventually making her way back to the guy, she simply asks him "did you get one?" he looks confused, rightly so and replies "yes, but why did you give me it?". Her reply is amazing, she says no words to begin with, throws a twenty at him and says "there ya go!". I didn't know what to say, think or do, the guy seemed to buy a coffee and a cake with it.
There's been other stories about bother the man and the woman appear on the Reading Spotted Facebook page, one claiming that they'd been seen behind the shopping centre, the man holding the woman up while she threw up with the power of a water cannon. You see her occasionally run from one shop to another with her coat over her head and the guy a considerable amount of distance behind, or riding buses at all hours; this brings me on to the most recent encounter I've had with her, he was nowhere to be seen.
Above is a photo of the lady herself. Usually you'll see her riding a bus towards Whitley but tonight she was on her way to Earley, the guy wasn't around at all and she was asleep with her coat over her head like this the entire journey. Don't worry, as I got off I informed the bus driver about her odd behaviour and that she was asleep so I'm sure she's fine.
So that's the first post, hope it wasn't too strenuous to read. This is just one of the many characters I've seen along my travels and I plan to write about each of them as well as other things. If it was too strenuous tough, you've read it now and gave me a view, cheers.
No comments:
Post a Comment